a not so distant heartbreak

In a distant near land I have seen pure skotos and it scares me. It hides beneath the surface but exposes itself none the less. It has been suggested that we should look inside of us for strength, search our souls for meaning this journey of life. But I have looked and it is frightening what I see. You cannot find strength from the skotos that is at the root of all us. There is nothing to be had from relying on me, on us, on you. There is an imagined real story about a college-age student who scaled to the top of a 6 story building to contemplate ending his life over the recent breakup with his girlfriend. The crowd that gathered and the news crews that rushed in are no surprise. But it was at the moment that we realize that inside us all is not something we can grab onto for support but rather absoulte darkness. It was the cries of the crowd "go on and jump, if you really are a man" and the begging of the news crew "hurry up and jump, otherwise you're wasting our time" that simply and so utterly breaks my heart.